if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
