Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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