Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
