YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
