My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
