She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
did i walk over a car last night?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
