I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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