i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
