Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
