Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
