i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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