Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
