Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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