will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Randomize
