walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
