i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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