Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
