my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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