my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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