very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
