i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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