i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Holy sore nipples Batman
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
