I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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