We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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