he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
