bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
