Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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