it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
