The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
