I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize