i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
