dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
