I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
