I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
