She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
