I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize