you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
