You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize