im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
