i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
