it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
