closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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