i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
