mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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