Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Randomize