you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize