Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
