first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
