i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
