For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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