he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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