What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
