at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
