So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
