Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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