Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
