...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
